Practise assessment for creative writing.

The following story might seem similar to my final piece, but that is only because I need to make sure I can write it. I will rewrite in the final assessment. Okay, anyway, here we go.

The sun shines down on the metallic frames surrounding me. While walking on top of the large concrete slabs layered onto the compressed earth below, I can smell that smell you get from freshly sawed wood-dust, even getting hints of a metallic odour that surrounds everything. Then there is that feeling of climbing underneath some frames, like climbing into and out of the skeleton of a person’s body. It is quite fun to do so, but when ever you touch anything, you have to make sure it isn’t sharp and could damage your skin. But this doesn’t bother me since I know how to not grab a sharp object and cut. And yes, there is of course some sounds being created, like the roar of the engines that sit in the cars on the street quite close to me. To me, it all seems quite amazing, that 1 person, with a couple of helpers could build all set up all this, and somehow put up huge, rather heavy frames(I helped move them around, so I should know) into place to create something that resembles a building.
The LED lights shine down on the walls that surround me. The carpet on the floor that I walk over is quite comfortable, which is obvious since I helped in the choosing of it. But it is still a nice feeling to finally be able to it down and relax, after having to lift so many different things into my new house. Ah, and that smell of dinner being cooked in the oven. A meaty, kind of sweet smell, that I already know will belong to something delicious, seeing as how my parents are cooking it. I then walk to my new bedroom, and climb into my old bed  and look forward to the fact that for this move we don’t need to pack everything into boxes and drive in a truck for ages. Oh? Hear that? No? Well of course not, that is the sound of me of not hearing everything in the house from my room. Instead, I can feel the vibrations of my sisters and brother playing around upstairs in the new living room. So, yeah, still annoying, but also quite useful. It can help give someone a sense of security when you can hear every large sound in the house. But still, it is nice to have finally been able to move into this house that we have been building for such a long time.

Imagery for an object.

There were 3 blue stick like objects on the table. The smell of said object was a sour, dusty, and dirty tang. It was imediatly obvious to be blue, with plenty of dirt around it, which probably was the reason for the smell. Taste wise, well, I’m not putting that thing in my mouth, so someone could say it doesn’t look inviting, or tasty.  No sound was produced by the stick like objects, unless you started hitting them against an object. And then there was a lumps dotted around it.


The 3 blue stick like objects just sat there in the table. At a glance, they seemed harmless. But when you really look, you can begin to notice how the dirt covering them could infect someone with a fatal disease. Or perhaps the hard lumps on the edge of the sticks could be used to bash open someones head. Then there is the stench of the items, which is quite noticeable, has a sour, dusty stench. And while this happens, the sticks could be stuffed up a persons nose, and while they focus on that, their heads are slowly opened.
Or perhaps someone could stuff them down a persons throat, causing them to vomit, which will lead to malnutrition and eventual death(as long as this happens over and over again. Basically, these 3 little sticks are really dangerous, and should stay away from everyones dangerous hands.

(Just saying I had to edit this while speaking to the class, which may also have caused me to sound nervous.)

Ideas for what I could write for my piece.

That time I nearly drowned could work, but that doesn’t feel happy at all. No, actually, lets not have happiness. Happiness is overused too much in life, so I shall write something that isn’t happy. Also, there is the fact that I am happy nearly all the time so how could I use happiness with out writing about most of my life? Anger wont work since that is completely random. This leaves sadness as the only remaining emotion. And where have I been sad, like, location wise? Well, besides at my home when going over sad stories I am reading, the only other time I have been sad is…I can’t appear to remember. I could instead write about a metaphysical location. Like the location of my mind, and how it looked in the past, and in the now. Except I’m not allowed to do that, which could be a good thing.
The reason I don’t talk about my home is because I move home like, every other year. So that won’t work. On that point, I could talk about my future house, as my parents are building it at this very moment, and it does happen to be right in front of my current house. I could talk about how it was in the past, and then talk about it in the future. I could even attempt to add some emotions in.
The first few paragraphs could be in 1st person from the perspective of someone watching something come into creation, but having to work hard to achieve it. Then after that little piece, I can set a view on the future of what is yet to happen, but what I’m hoping will happen, and have it so that it is a more happy setting, with a sense of relief being there, relief that all the hard work is over.
Of course, I will need to learn how to write feelings into a  story, which shouldn’t take too long. Feelings wise, there will be: happiness, relief, worry, and hope. So basically the emotions that look towards optimism first. Why? Because that is me, in fullness. Or, well, the happiness part is. The rest is just what my family was feeling at the time. Then again, lets not tell the markers, please readers?

Subordinate clauses.

Now that the citizens have ignored the warnings, the ecology of the planet will collapse.
Before the planets ecology collapsed, all hope was not yet lost.
If all hope is lost, the Thames will run dry.
Since all hope was lost, the citizens began to ignore the warnings.
The ecology of the planet had collapsed, though hope was yet lost.

It was a bright cold day in April. The clocks were striking thirteen. Winston Smith had his chin in his breast. It was in an effort to escape a vile, windy day. Winston Smith walked through the doors of Victory Mansions. But wasn’t quick enough. A swirl of gritty dust got through the door too.
(This is that entire paragraph, hopefully converted to simple sentences.)

Though Winston Smith, has chin nuzzled into his breast in an effort to escape the wind, walked through the doors of victory mansion at a quick speed, he couldn’t prevent a swirl of gritty dust from getting in. (How do I not rewrite it?)

Simple sentences.

The man walking through the town looks lonely. There is rubbish everywhere on the street. The buildings stretch into the distance. The crate the man walks with is small. The man looks at the buildings in wonder.

Relative clauses: Which, That, Who, and Whose.

the man walked down the middle of the road. He was humming to himself. The man who was humming to himself, while walking down the middle of the road. The man who was humming to himself, while he looked at the surrounding buildings in wonder.


The bed, which was inside the bedroom, was simply sitting there. There was never any people who would stay inside that bedroom for a long time, as there was nothing to do in there. If anyone did dare to go in this room whose bed just continued to sit there, they would be bored out of their mind. This person, who clearly isn’t right in the head, would sit there on his bed all day. The bed just continued to sit there, while the person, whose mind was up in another universe since this universe was boring from his point of view, just continued to sit on the bed. This person is obviously rather boring, that even his own bed was about to fail and fall over, because of this really boring and quiet person. Of course, anyone who could think that was not in that room, was probably confused why the person would continue to sit on his bed in his really boring room without going completely insane.

Noun phrase paragraph.

John walked down the hallway, his hand holding top secret files hidden under his grey jacket, preparing for his speech to President Trump. He enters the oval office, the door swinging shut silently behind him, and the large muscled up body guards there checking he has no hidden weapons. Once this is done, he begins to speak about how Trump should send over armed forces to the southern hemisphere to remove the sentient reptile humanoids taking over Australia before they can get to the northern hemisphere. Donald Trump walks up to the man and simply says: “Who cares about those Australians? We are america, we can easily deal with these mere reptiles if they dare come to America!”


Just a quick side note, apparently we were supposed to talk about our classroom. As I hadn’t realized this, I talked made something up on the spot, which was the above paragraph. Just saying, there are no metaphors.

Dystopia description using the first part of a sentence as a location setter.

Behind the large building in the distance is a dark, dark secret. After this secret was first discovered by the government, they realised they would have to hide it. Inside this secret was another, it was the end of the world. Before the government could discover this secret it was already too late. Inside the building, people did come, and there they hid to stay safe from what the government thought was a simple secret. In the end, the true secret turned out to be a dangerous weapon being used by a mad man, intent on taking over the world. Inside the government, the secret they thought they knew was that there was a dangerous mad person.
Above the world sat the mad man, preparing his world destroying weapon. Below him the weapon, a massive piece of a neutron star being slowly poured onto the world. On the surface of the world everything appeared to be fine, but in fact the very world itself was being slowly destroyed by the massive gravitational influence from the neutron star.
Around the world, everyone watched on their T.Vs as the world was burned away, and huge earthquakes shook the world. In the military bases, army’s prepared for one final attack, only to be crushed by a piece of the neutron star. Above this dying world the mad man laughed, as the world that raised this secret of a person was destroyed by it. In the end, the only thing left was a man laughing, and then even that was gone.